This detailed Monkey Whizz review aims to change your perception of a brand of synthetic urine that I always think is let down by its name.
When compared to names like Quick Fix, Sub Solution, and Quick Luck, the name “Monkey Whizz” doesn’t exactly fill you with confidence about the seriousness of the product. In fact, many people dismiss it as a novelty product that is not going to pass a drug test.
But that’s not the truth, and although Monkey Whizz is a silly name, and the company name “Serious Monkey Bizzness” equally fails to convey quality, what you’re actually getting is a cheap, but high-quality, synthetic urine.
Serious Monkey Bizzness Explained
So look, when you visit the website for the company, you are immediately hit with a pop-up that tells you that if you want to use their synthetic urine products to pass a drug test you should leave immediately. Again, this hardly fills you with confidence, and most companies just have a disclaimer at the bottom of the site, or on the product page.
But a lot of people have passed drug tests using Serious Monkey Bizzness urine products, including me.
However, I say that with a caveat. For me, Monkey Whizz synthetic urine is not the most complex formula out there and is probably fourth on my list of recommended urine products. But having said that, for the price, it’s plenty good enough to pass a basic pre-employment test.
So don’t be fooled. Take a look at their FAQ page on their website. Those questions all tell you that this product is to be used for passing drug tests. You just wouldn’t need to explain that it contained certain chemicals, or tell you how to get it to exactly 100°F unless it is supposed to be used for more than fetish purposes.
Serious Monkey Bizzness Products
So as part of this Monkey Whizz review, I want to explain to you what the different synthetic urine products the company sell are, as they can cause confusion:
- Monkey urine
- Monkey Flask
- Monkey Whizz
- Monkey Dong
Monkey urine is the cheapest, costing just $15. But literally all you get is a packet of powdered urine to mix with water. You don’t even get a heat source. It’s basically useless for anything but the stated use as a fetish item.
Next up the list is the Monkey Flask. That contains the same powdered urine, but premixed. It also contains a heatpad. So the monkey Flask is a good basic option.
Monkey Whizz is the third choice, even though all of the urine products tend to be called “Monkey Whizz” on forums, only this product is actually called Monkey Whizz. Monkey Whizz contains premixed urine. But it also contains small heatpads, a belt that contains the premixed sample, and a dispensing tube and lock.
At the top of the range is the Monkey Dong. That is basically a synthetic penis that allows you to use it either for fetish play or more importantly, for a supervised drug test. However, you would need nerves of steel to use it for that purpose, and it doesn’t help females either.
So Monkey Whizz is the best solution. However, Monkey Flask works in exactly the same way as things like Quick Fix, you get a vial of premixed urine, and heat pad to use. So it is a good second choice from the range of products.
How Good Is Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine?
What I like about Monkey Whizz as a product is that it contains premixed urine so you don’t have to have a water source.
It also contains a belt. So you can put the synthetic urine into the belt and then activate the heatpads to keep it warm. Because the urine is more spread out and kept close against your skin, it will be far closer to human body temperature anyway, and then heatpads just boost it up enough to get it within that small temperature range, as close to 100°F as possible without being higher.
In terms of the complexity of the formula, the FAQ page tells you what you need to know. This isn’t just fetish urine, because why would you need it to contain the following if it was:
- Uric acid
- 4 other chemicals found in human urine
- Within the correct specific gravity range
- Within the correct pH range
So as you can see, if you are using it to try and pass a drug test, then the answer to the question does Monkey Whizz contain creatine is yes, alongside the fact that it contains a lot of other ingredients found in human urine.
Monkey Whizz Review: Instructions
Instructions for using Monkey Whizz are pretty straightforward. I’m going to focus on the instructions for the Monkey Whizz belt kit here, rather than Monkey Flask. With Monkey Flask, you just microwave the sample, attach the heatpad to it, and then go off and submit your sample.
Monkey Whizz contains a belt, which is slightly more complex to set up and use, but more reliable in terms of submitting it at the right temperature.
The instructions are:
- The monkey was urine is contained within the belt. To heat it up, you activate the heatpads and slide them into the belt.
- Then put on the Monkey Whizz belt with the urine sample touching your skin. That way, it will naturally keep it close to body temperature, and with the heatpads above that, it will lock that heat in to keep the sample as close to 100°F as possible. Human urine exits the body at around 96°F-100°F, so this combination keeps it within that narrow range.
- Close the white clips on the belt, and cut the tube to length, so you can dispense the urine in a natural way.
- Check the temperature before you submit the sample. I’d recommend you check the temperature before you go into the lab. If it needs warming, you can always find a toilet cubicle and run the sample under hot water for a few seconds to raise the temperature. But it should not be a problem, as the combination of the heatpad and having the sample strapped next to your skin is usually more than sufficient to keep it warm.
- When you submit your sample, unfasten the white clips and submit the sample into the container you are given. The white clips can make a small noise when you unfasten, so I would recommend you wear a belt that makes a noise, or if that’s not possible, and use something like olive oil to make sure they are working as silently as possible.
Does Monkey Whizz Work?
So look, the million-dollar question has to be: does Monkey Whizz work?
Well, for me it has passed a drug test 18 months ago. It was a basic pre-employment test for a part-time job in the evenings, and I don’t think it was particularly thorough, but it definitely works.
However, the formula is not that complex, and you do see some people online saying they have failed. That could be down to their own stupidity though, not checking the heat of the sample and keeping it correct. But for an advanced drug test, it’s probably not a good enough formula if it’s put under more intensive lab scrutiny.
If you on a real budget, the Monkey Flask will be good enough. Comparable to Quick Fix, although Quick Fix has a more complex formula.
But the Monkey Whizz belt is the most secure because it distributes the fake urine out in a thin layer that’s strapped against your skin, which will obviously keep it closer to the temperature it should be.
Alternatives To Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine
I said at the start of this Monkey Whizz review is the fourth choice on my list of recommended synthetic urine products.
You shouldn’t buy Monkey Whizz on Amazon, because it could be fake, or out of date. I’d only recommend you buy it from an authorized reseller, which for me is buyfakeurine.com. They are a great site, with fast and reliable shipping, and fair prices.
But there are three better brands out there. Monkey Whizz will cost you around $40. For the same price, you can buy Quick Fix, which is a more complex formula.
However, on the downside, a quick fix doesn’t quite look as realistic for me. That’s also something other people have said. And it doesn’t contain the monkey belt, so you only have the heatpad to keep it within the right temperature range. But in terms of passing validity tests, Quick Fix is a better option.
Clear Choice Sub Solution is my second choice, because it’s a very complex formula, and it doesn’t rely on a heatpad. It uses heat activator powder, which allows you to get the temperature up in a few seconds.
So the conclusion of my Monkey Whizz review is that it’s a good option, but if you want the ultimate in chemical complexity, ease-of-use, and safety from getting caught, then my number one choice is Quick Luck.
Quick Luck is made by the same people who make Sub Solution. But it’s an even more complex formula than Sub Solution, far more complex than Monkey Whizz urine, even though we now know that Monkey Whizz does contain creatine, amongst other required chemicals.
It also uses heat activator powder rather than a heatpad, so there’s less chance of failure risk. But it also comes with a pair of heatpads. You can use the heat activator powder, and the heatpads in combination, to closely control the temperature in a way that you can’t with any other type of urine on the market.
Quick Fix is a slightly more complex formula, and it’s cheaper than Monkey Whizz, but you will find it harder to regulate the temperature. And if it’s under close visual scrutiny, it won’t stand up to it as well Monkey Whizz.
So Monkey Whizz is a good budget option that will probably pass you a basic pre-employment drug test, as long as the sample doesn’t come under close scrutiny, and as long as you really watch what you are submitting it within the right temperature range. If you do all that, then yes Monkey Whizz works, be plenty good enough.