If you’re searching for “smoke shops sell synthetic urine near me” like I was a while back, then you’re probably in the same panic but I was as well. So what I want to do here is to tell you my story quickly, so it’s helping you to get out of the nightmare situation you could be close to getting into.
Even if you’re just searching for shops that sell synthetic near you to save ordering them online, or you’ve got a drug test next couple of days, everything I’m about to say will still apply to you.
So buckle up, and let me explain what happened to me, so that it doesn’t happen to you. Then you can make a better decision than I did and learn the lesson I did about not getting caught out by a drug test.
The Situation I Got Caught In
My situation was a nightmare but I knew it could happen, but had not bothered to prepare for it.
When I got my job I knew I could face on the spot drug testing. Its local delivery/courier driving. So you have a van, you go to the depot to pick up, you drop it off. Sometimes the journeys are long, sometimes short, but you are checking back into the depot several times per day.
I was given the nod that there was going to be on the spot drug testing happening that day. One of the guys mentioned to me that he had seen someone set up in the office when he had popped upstairs to drop off some delivery paperwork that had got lost the day before.
So thankfully, I had got a bit of a heads up that it was happening. But the problem was that I didn’t have any fake urine on me. I was riddled with drug toxins, I knew that. I’m a heavy smoker, and had two joints the night before.
Grabbing a detox drink in Walmart was out, because I knew that the ones available there would not masked the toxins I had in my body. It would have been pointless. You need to do a 48 hour detox to stand a good chance with any detox drink.
I had been planning to put a box of Sub Solution in my van. We are self-employed through the company you see, so we always have our own vans. So I was going to put the fake urine in there, and then I could just mix it up with a few minutes notice because Sub Solution comes with heat activator powder.
However, the nightmare situation I was in is the one I never want you guys to experience. I knew I could face a drug test, I didn’t have the stuff with me, and now I was stuck with limited options.
A Quick Google Search: “ Where To Buy Synthetic Urine Near Me “
Thankfully, because I was a delivery guy, I could get out and around town quite easily. So I searched on Google for: “smoke shops sell synthetic urine near me”. That only turned up two places, so I broadened the search with “buying synthetic urine near me”. That still only returned one result in the district I could realistically get to and back from while I was delivering.
So I had two places to visit potentially, and less than an hour in which to do it because at some stage of the day I was going to have to return after a drop off and submit the sample.
The first place I went to was your standard smoke shop. Bit of a seedy area but a seedy guy behind the counter.
They sold Magnum, U Pass, Synthetix5, and Agent X. None of those brands of synthetic urine have any reputation at all. They are all renowned for containing biocide, which can be detected by drug tests as well.
So it was straight on to place number two. I could describe it as a smoke shop, but it was more than that, it’s a strange place where they sell all sorts of strange clothing, you know the tie-dye goth stuff, alternative medicine, all sorts of weird shit.
They had Monkey Whizz (Monkey Flask) and Xstream for sale. I breathed a little sigh of relief because Monkey Whizz is a half decent brand. It’s not the best, compared to Sub Solution it’s really basic. It’s a little worse than Quick Fix, but it was hopefully good enough.
Monkey Whizz does contain urea, uric acid, creatinine, and it’s balanced right as well (the pH and gravity). I knew that much. I also knew that it looks like the real thing just enough to pass a test, and it doesn’t contain biocide.
I Passed…But I Failed
So I got Monkey Whizz, did the drop-off, and went back to the depot. As I suspected, the supervisor on the dock sent me straight up to the office to submit the sample.
I had to work fast because I knew I didn’t have long. I figured the person in the office had no idea I was coming, so if I could delay for a little while, I stood a chance to get this stuff up to the right temperature.
I went into the restroom, which thankfully is a single toilet with its own sink and a lockable door.
The only heat source available was the hot water tap. So I turned that on until it was really hot, and then put the premixed Monkey Whizz Flask underneath it until it started to register on the temperature strip, which still took several minutes. I didn’t need the heatpad, because I was going straight to the office to submit it, this was all about getting the sample up to the right temperature for right now.
Thankfully, the hot water was warm enough, when often it’s not. Because I was just wearing shorts that day I couldn’t even tuck the sample in my underwear. So I had to push it into the top of my shorts, and I hope my belt just held it there.
I hope you can see what a nightmare situation that is, and it’s definitely one I would never want you to go through. After that though, it was easy. I went into the office, did the listening and signing, picked up the sample bottle, and then was told to go and submit my sample back in the restroom cubicle I’d just come from.
Checked the temperature strip, it was still warm enough, so I just poured in the right amount, and went and handed it back.
I passed that drug test, I really don’t know how, but I managed to get through it.
I know that I was lucky because I had the ability to get out and buy the stuff quickly. For me, I was able to find synthetic urine near me within half an hour. I’m figuring most of you guys won’t have shops near you, or won’t have the ability to get out of the workplace the way I could.
Where You Can Buy Synthetic Urine
So my advice here is to prepare. Get what you need in advance. But which brand? Then you will be thinking: where can I buy synthetic urine? Let me answer both those questions.
Wherever you are then, you’ll only need about one minute to pour in the heat activator powder, agitate it to the right temperature, and then submit your sample.
I got lucky, I found some hot water. If you don’t have access to hot water or a microwave, you’re not going to get that sample hot enough. Using the heat from the heatpad could take one hour, and I’m guessing you might not have that much time.
Quick Luck is probably the best option because you get the premixed urine, the heat activator powder, and you get a pair of high-quality heatpads. That gives you a lot of combinations for getting the sample warm and keeping it there.
Just make sure you get this stuff in advance. It has a long shelf life, and you can store it at home, or at work.
Even if you are facing a drug test in the next couple of days, just go online to somewhere like TestNegative and select the express shipping option. For most places in the USA they will get it to you in less than 48 hours.
But the motto here is to be prepared, just like the Cub Scouts. Buy the stuff now, then keep it where you will most likely need to use it. If that means buying two lots, keeping one in your locker, one in your cab, or wherever, then do it.
So there you go guys, I hope this has helped you and it saves you some of the panic but I went through. I learned my lesson from that and I bought Quick Luck for keeping in my van, and I’ve also got Sub Solution at home in case it’s a scheduled test where I’ve got more time to prepare.